Why is this a thing?
For some reason or other, week 4 of the semester has hit me, and the rest of LMU, the hardest. People are beginning to get sick, classes are starting to pick up and get more intense, my social life is all out of whack, and I feel like I have about a million and one things to get done.
In addition, I’m really homesick this week. I don’t necessarily miss my family (whom I’m also going to see next weekend when they come to visit), but I miss the feeling of being home and being in KC. I miss my friends and I miss the summer.
What’s even weirder is I definitely was not like this at all last year. I was able to make it all the way until Thanksgiving before getting the slightest urge to go home and be in KC. But for whatever reason, sophomore year has been a lot already for me and I miss the feeling of home.
My anxiety has also been off the charts this week. My anxiety is so bad that I’m literally sitting here typing this up when I should be doing homework but I can’t even begin to get myself to concentrate until I express this. I’ve cried a total of 6 times, 4 of which in one day. Again, I don’t really know why. I haven’t felt like myself for a while inside or out and I’ve just had the sudden urge to cry at times.
But crying is good. It releases emotion. Every time I cry, in a weird way I feel much better afterward. It’s a sense of release. And it helps to clear my head so then I can be more emotionally stable in organizing my life.
I’ve decided right here today that I need to crack down on myself and get my ish together. I want to dance so I need to sign up for studio space to go dance and let out emotion. I want to get back into my workout routine because I did so good this summer so I need to get my workout clothes on and actually get to the gym. I need to eat cleaner so I need to stop snacking on every single food item we have in our apartment. And I need to call my mom and sister more. The two of them are very different in how they communicate with me but both grant me really healthy conversations to talk about and work out my life.
These are my random thoughts of week 4. Slightly depressing (I’m sorry) but definitely therapeutic to type out and put my thoughts into words. And as this is my blog for my random thoughts, I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about laying it all out there.
Week 4, please end soon.