To my beautiful alma mater,
You were not what I expected. I didn’t know you existed for a long time. And quite frankly, for a bit, I wanted to leave you.
But you were my sweet surprise. My happy ending. And my happy beginning.
You were a happy beginning to living in a new state, a new city. And a beginning to life beyond school.
You were a happy ending to my years of schooling. And an ending to childhood.
You were full of surprises. You were a surprise in itself that you existed. And then a surprise that I stayed. A surprise to do a program like IC. A surprise to be in an Exec position in a sorority. A surprise to love my job giving tours as much as I did. A surprise to still be friends and roomies with some of the first women I met at LMU by the end of my senior year. A surprise to now be more in love with Jesus and my faith. A surprise to know my identity more as a liberal Catholic woman (thanks Capstone). A surprise that I can sit here now, 4 years and one month after I committed to you and feel what I do about you.
People don’t know LMU. And that’s kinda ok to me. Because to those who know, it means the world (literally iykyk). I used to care so much about the name and the image (which is part of the reason I almost transferred). Now, I care more about the mission. To encourage learning, educate the whole person, and serve with faith and promote justice. I was awarded the St. Ignatius of Loyola Award from Campus Ministry as one of the 12 graduating seniors to do so. If you could have told freshman Emily, she would have greatly wanted the medal and the stats that come with it. As post-grad Emily, I reflect on what that means to be awarded such a thing as a true follower, ever-growing to-be, of St. Ignatius. The best gift I could be given from LMU.
It’s funny how your whole life prepares you for your life. People don’t really change. But the way in which we know and see ourselves does.
I think high school friends could tell you I did well in school. But I wouldn’t have guessed that I would care about my academics like I did in college. I wanted to come to LA to dance remember? I chose communication studies because it was going to be my easy major to coincide with me trying to run off to the nearest dance studio or audition. I didn’t think I would graduate with a Capstone project that perfectly combined my love for communication studies and women’s & gender studies (Liberalism and the Catholic Church: A Negotiation of the Two Identities for Women) and completely have dropped my dance minor.
I think high school friends would tell you I was a “girl gang” kinda girl. But I didn’t think I would eventually care so much to be on the executive board of DZ even on the day I joined. I think high school friends would tell you I was good at talking. I didn’t think I would end up dedicating even more time to the tour guide program becoming a Coordinator even up until last summer. I think high school friends would tell you that I was Catholic, volunteered, and went to church. But I didn’t think I would care about Campus Ministry, my faith, my religion, and above all, my God even as I first applied to LMU, a Jesuit Catholic university.
I see it all now. It makes sense. I did the things I did, because I’ve been that person, or more so, meant to become that person all along. But when I first took the steps— joined the sorority, applied to be a tour guide, walked through the doors of the chapel— I wouldn’t have guessed I would’ve done what I have. LMU was a complete surprise.
I stayed at a hotel 5 minutes away from LMU the summer of 2015 in order to tour other schools in LA. I was 5 minutes away and didn’t even know LMU existed at that point. I didn’t originally get in to USC, spent a majority of my first semester visiting my friend there on the weekends to get a feel for it, considered transferring, and then stayed at LMU. I was searching for things that weren’t meant for me, but LMU was my loyal friend, standing idly by while I went off and played around with other possibilities, until I came back home.
LMU let me be. Let me explore. Let me end some dreams, visions, fantasies, goals. Let me end childhood. Let me end my education on a high note. And it let me begin. Let me begin living on my own in a new city. Let me begin my career path. Let me begin anew in my faith. Let me begin to figure out what I would do without school. LMU, you let me be. And more importantly you taught me to BE more than I DO because after all, we are called human beings.
Does any person hate their college upon their graduation? Like seriously, I feel like every person can sit like I am and write a love letter to their university and say similar things about their experience. Because on your graduation day, if you aren’t getting your degree from the school you love, damn. Maybe that’s unfair and naive of me to say. But I feel like that’s why people transfer and eventually, even if it’s just for their last year or even semester, end up graduating from the right alma mater for them.
LMU, you are my alma mater. The one I didn’t expect or know I needed but everything I wanted. And Lord knows no one would have expected for a pandemic to be the way I ended my time at LMU. Again, another surprise. But LMU has now prepped me for surprises. And it’s not like I lost anything. I just didn’t gain 2 months worth of memories. But, I will always have the memories from August 2016-March 2020. I will always have the Den, the Cave, Doheny, the Bluff, Hannon, UHall, the Admissions Office, the Lib, the Campus Ministry Office, the Burns Art studios. St. Rob’s, the Vineyard, and all that each space brought me. I will always have LMU. And for that, I am forever grateful. And forever surprised.