Currently, there are two ways I am conceptualizing this word.
The first way is because I just saw the musical Hamilton last week so I hear this word and the song “Helpless” plays in my head full volume. (Small plug: I highly, highly, highly recommend seeing this show if you haven’t yet because it was amazing and the soundtrack is on repeat in my head)
This second way is because the year of 2017 has made me feel more helpless than I have ever felt in my life.
I believe it all began back when Donald J. Trump was elected the 45th President of the United States. Since his inauguration, he has issued various statements and displayed behavior that I strongly disagree with and feel has caused many people pain, heartbreak, and suffering around the world. This has left me feeling helpless to their aid, comfort, and empathy.
I don’t want to make this post too political but in an essence, this current administration makes me feel so small and as if there is nothing of real significance that I can do to fight back and make an impact that will change their minds.
To further my feelings, within the past month alone there has been so much devastation caused by natural disasters and then just this past week, the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.
I had barely enough time to process all the information from one natural disaster before the next came about. I can donate only oh so much money to one of the organizations let alone the dozens for each one. I am 19 years old and I have lived through 4 of the deadliest mass shootings. I can’t donate blood because my blood type is unwanted by the blood banks. The NFL is doing it’s best to protest and stand up for what is right but with all that news coverage, the devastation in Puerto Rico has been completely covered up and I don’t even know what to do to show my support for either. I feel HELPLESS!!!!!
They say money helps. And I know it does. But money doesn’t feel like enough for me. And the hard reality is, I am a college student with savings that I can’t give as much as I would like to think would make a real impact. I hate to just feel like I’m tossing money left and right at this point to the dozens of organizations currently taking money for all these horrific events.
They say prayers help. And I know they do. I know I am a compassionate, sympathetic person enough to send my condolences, thoughts, and prayers. But these thoughts don’t create change.
They say call your senator/congresspeople, that helps. And I know it could. But I feel like if my senator or congressperson is already set in their values, beliefs, or opinions on an issue, then my one call is not going to change their mind. They know that the other, opposing side exists and they’ve probably acknowledged the fact that they have constituents on that side. But their own thoughts and opinions are what’s going to vote, so will my one call make any real difference?
I am frustrated and disgusted and there is only so much I feel I can do but I’m doing my best. I am lost and I am so done with feeling this way and seeing this hate and horror in the world.
2017, you have made me feel helpless.