Unsteady

Is it just me, or does everyone have a take-off song? The song that no matter what, every single time you’re on a plane and it speeds down the runaway during take-off, it’s played? Just me? 

Ok, well my take-off song is Unsteady-Erich Lee Gravity Remix by X Ambassadors and Erich Lee. It’s from the movie soundtrack of Me Before You (great movie btw). If I start the song right as the plane starts to rumble while it’s powering up and then races down the runway, just when the beat drops the plane lifts and soars into the sky. Just at :36 seconds. Trust me, go try it. Runways are pretty much all the same length and planes typically need just the same amount of length to take-off so it hits every time.

I was recently flying back from Kansas City to Los Angeles for probably the 50th time in my life (no lie, maybe more), obviously listening to the song, and the irony of it kinda hit me. The song is titled “Unsteady” which is not exactly the feeling you want while you’re taking off in a plane that’s supposed to be carrying you to your next destination unharmed. But the song, in the most cheesy way, is not only perfect timing wise as you take-off, but as you first fly off away from your recent destination, it’s just a very emotional song. It’s like when you listen to emo music while staring out the car window on a road trip. Same thing here. Definitely it’s a song worthy of the background score for a film in a scene where someone’s on the plane, looking out the window, leaving a loved one and place, feeling very senti. Just saying.

Maybe the irony of the song is kinda like how before dancers go on stage, fellow performers lightly knee them in butt and say “Merde” ( which translates to sh*t) or for actors we tell them to “Break a leg”. I listen to “Unsteady” because it’s the exact opposite of how you really want the plane ride to be. 

I’ve grown quite comfortable with flying though. Over the first 21 years of my life, I can’t even begin to count how many planes I’ve been on. And ever since college began, I’ve been back and forth between LA and KC a dozen times or more. I’m very very fortunate to say that though. The fact that I can proudly not count how many flights I have been on to travel to places in 24 countries and all over the states is remarkable. I’ve been blessed in my life by the opportunity to travel. So with all my traveling and flying, I’m not the type to usually get queesy about flying. But that doesn’t mean I want to put bad karma into the air here and say my luck’s perfect. You never know what could happen. 

The song has a couple lines that I just really enjoy as well. One in particular says, “I know you’re trying to fight, when you feel like flying”. There’s many ways that line could be interpreted but I equate it to surrender. In the case of flying, once you hit that runway, there’s no going back. You’re on that plane for as long as that plane can and needs to be in the air, with the hope that you touchdown right where you need to be. For some, you have to surrender to the feeling of being unsteady. Again, that’s never usually a feeling most want to experience. But it happens and sometimes the best way to push through it is to acknowledge and accept the feeling, allow yourself to think and act though that feeling, and then keep going and keep fighting. Flying can be so freeing. It’s a form of escape. And sometimes we try to fight, but all there’s left to do is walk away. 

The song also repeats the line, “Hold on to me, cuz I’m a little unsteady” several times. This one’s a bit more obvious in that it just calls for some help. There are moments, including for some while flying, where we feel a bit unsteady and need some support from others in our life. I’ve been feeling a bit unsteady recently and for me, I pray to God a lot about finding clarity, stability, and strength in my current situations. And while I pray for all these things, I also just fall into God’s arms and need someone to hold on to me, comfort me, and let me cry.  

So really, this post is just to mention that A. I have a flight take-off song, B. it’s a banger and everyone should go listen to it, C. talk about how I’m just an over-dramatic, emo girl sometimes and D. let y’all know I’ve been feeling a little unsteady

I’ll be flying again here in a couple weeks to go off on another adventure (Boston here I come) and I’ll be listening to this song through both take-offs. Hopefully by then, I’m feeling a bit more stable in my life than where I am right now, but also, now this song will just be super ironic every time I listen to it if in fact the plane ride is everything but unsteady. And don’t you worry, you can catch me envisioning myself in a movie scene, looking out the window and probably tearing up just for dramatic effect while I’m doing it.